everyonesopinionisvalid: How I picture Obama walking out of the room after hearing the Supreme Court’s ruling upholding the healthcare law:
ALT + Reblog ALL the things!
Police officer: Miss Lohan you're over the legal drinking limit.
Lindsay Lohan: THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST!
clientsfromhell: Approaching the final week of a deadline for a project… Client: I’ve been waiting for this for too long. I deserve to be constipated. Me: Excuse me? Client: It’s taking too long. I should be constipated. You should constipate me. Me: Um… do you mean compensated? Client: … The client then hung up. Haven’t heard back since. Project was delivered on time, for the price...
"Oh my god Zach did you hear?! Sharon Needles is...
cool-nebraska-gay: REALLY? A CHARACTER AND STAGE PERSONA WHO DESCRIBES HERSELF AS “SATAN’S SECRETARY” AND RIPS OUT BIBLE PAGES TO THROW TO THE CROWD ISN’T THE MOST POLITICALLY CORRECT ANGEL ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET?! A DRAG QUEEN WHO CALLS HERSELF THE QUEEN OF SHOCK USES OFFENSIVE SYMBOLS AND LANGUAGE ON STAGE?! OH NOOOOO! The fact that these people don’t even see their own stupidity...
apiphile: ladyknightofnight: rgodling: Oreo you are my new heir I HAVE SPOKEN OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH. <3
Zodiac Signs and the weapons they'd use for...
Aries: a knife, lots of stab wounds, especially ones in the face— most likely a rage kill. After they were done stabbing you, they'd start ripping you limb from limb, even if you were already dead. That, or they'd criticize you, but it'd be so on point that you'd feel bad enough to kill yourself.
Taurus: Their bare hands, and they'd strangle you to death. They'd stare into your eyes intensely as they suffocated you to death, maybe even adding in a few dramatic "I got you in the end, you know." phrases while doing it.
Gemini: It all depends on what is convenient for them to use as a murder weapon— they're clever, so they'd figure it out quickly. Most cannibals are Geminis, so they'd probably eat you afterwards. If you really fucked them over, maybe they'd cut off your hands and watch you bleed to death, probably laughing while doing it.
Cancer: They'd take you to the beach and find a secluded area only to tie you to a boulder in the shallows of the beach and watch the tide slowly drown you and sea creatures start to pick at your helpless/crying for help corpse.
Leo: They'd make a whole sport of it— they'd find a bunch of really sadistic, fucked up people on the black market and put you in a pit filled with big cats (especially lions), you'd hear "let the games begin!" and a spotlight would come on the death pit as you're torn to shreds.
Virgo: They'd make it look like an accident somehow. Regardless, no one would ever find out that they did it, because they'd cover their tracks well enough.
Libra: Similar to the Virgo one, but they'd definitely pretend to be distraught by what happened, and mask that they were involved really well...but in order to get you back, they'd get your family, your friends, and other people you cared about to show THEM sympathy, and to be on their side.
Scorpio: Succinolcholine injection after chloroforming the person helpless. (sp? A horse tranquilizer that is extremely hard to detect and basically make the person POWERLESS to do ANYTHING except suffocate to death. It makes all muscles go soft.) and they'd talk to you about how powerless and helpless you were until you died.
Sagittarius: beating the shit out of someone until they were literally an unrecognizable bloody mass.
Capricorn: Shooting someone in the head, mafioso style. They'd want it to be quick and clean, and they'd have organized a team to cover for them, dump the body, and probably hired virgo to hide the evidence.
Aquarius: It'd either be something really strange, whacky, and off the wall, like killing someone in the middle of a play by planning to have a stage light dropped on them, or they'd make an example of you in front of a bunch of their "followers" which they'd most likely have if they were crazy enough to kill.
Pisces: They'd capture you and play surgeon, the whole time ranting and raving about "how it feels" to feel pain as intensely as the emotional pain that they feel. They'd make sure that the kill took a long time so that they had a captive audience for a long time- another reason they'd prolongue it is they'd enjoy being the predator instead of the victim for once.
Lol I'm a saggittarius but I doubt I'd do somthing like that
Capricorn. And now I really like the idea of being in some mafia esque gang. But you know. As the good guys. with less drugs and forced prostitution.
Aquarius. But this astrology thing is bullshit anyway. *shifty eyes*
Totally bullshit; these things never get me right. Scorpio here. I've actually thought about this a lot b/c I used to live in some pretty sketchy areas. Most likely scenario would be rage-killing or self-defense (eg, rapist in my house). I think I'd hesitate with a knife, so that's out. My method of choice? BLUNT TRAUMA. When I lived alone, I had my bro make me a lead-filled bat. Cuz I could bash a motherfucking skull in, NO PROBLEM. And once in that headspace... yeah, I'd probably go overboard. My enemy would be a fucking stain. (If I abso had to do a premeditated, I'd find a way to get my enemy to do HIMSELF, "accidentally" or on purpose. Then there's no body disposal required— that's how people fuck up a perfectly good murder. But feh, if I hated you that much, I'd rather destroy your life so it's agony to live it, rather than take it away.)
Also a scorpio, also calling bullshit. I would definitely be a fit-of-rage blunt-instrument killer.
Wait, the Shadow Realm isn't real?: Dear people... →
palahniukandchocolate: The following companies also support gay rights: Allstate Amazon American Airlines Apple Applebee’s Best Buy Clorox Coca-Cola (which manufactures Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Fanta, Vitamin Water, and Dasani) Costco Delta Airlines Ford Gap…
dragracemaniac: And Pandora’s reply had me gagging, she is hilarious!! Now, I suggest that you go over to her profile (Link HERE) and tell her exactly what you feel about that scumbag! I sure did!
Santino Rice was a dick to Pandora Boxx the entire...
But a goal for everyone in this room to remember in 2012 is that, yes, some of...– Sharon Needles (via fuck-yeahsharonneedles)
fallenmetalbender: skoochythevagabond: fangirlingforeverz: the-sonic-screw: 500daysofevilexes: shayraeingame: changingbutneverchanged: Fifty Shades of Grey narrated by Gilbert Gottfried My life will never be the same. I need this on my iPod. Oh my god it’s Iago reading Fifty Shades of Grey fucking hell I nearly fell off my chair… “THE CLIT-OAR-US!!” The internet is now...
crazy-chick29: adriofthedead: neeeeeon: ...