Apocalypse Now

Month

June 2011

PRETTY BORED, SO I'LL DO FACTS ABOUT MYSELF. #CAPSLOCKDAY

1. I’M AMBIDEXTROUS.

2. I USED TO BE THE ‘TALLEST’, UNTIL EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY HIT GROWTH SPURTS. I AM NOW THE SHORTEST.

3. I’M VERY CLUMSY.

4. IT IRRITATES ME WHEN I WEAR COLORS.

5. I’M A HUGE RETRO-GAMER.

6. RPG’S ARE MY TOP FAVORITE NOW. I USED TO TRY TO PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS, BUT THAT WAS A LITTLE MUCH FOR ME.

7. BRITNEY SPEARS WAS MY IDOL BACK WHEN I WAS 9.

8. I’M MOSTLY INTO COMEDIES, OR DARK ACTION MOVIES.

9. MY HAIR USED TO BE BLONDE, UP UNTIL THE AGE OF 3.

10. IRISH, GERMAN, INDIAN, FRENCH, AND SUPPOSEDLY ESKIMO DESCENT.

Jun 28, 2011
Play
Jun 27, 2011
Play
Jun 24, 2011
Jun 24, 201121,095 notes
Reblog if you actually say "Me Gusta"

sharkmouf:

All the damn time.

Jun 14, 201137,711 notes
Reblog this if you are literally suprised when people find you attractive.

image

then I’m like:

image

image

Jun 12, 2011688,933 notes
BEST DIVORCE LETTER, EVER! →

tumblr-funniest:

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
——
Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that’s not a problem.

Featured at Tumblr’s Funniest Posts

Jun 11, 201171,429 notes
Reblog if you didn't find Tumblr through MTV

isecretlykeepsecrets:

image

Tumblr was on MTV?

image

Jun 11, 2011646,179 notes
Jun 7, 2011180 notes
A simple smiley face can change everything

yourhaloisslipping:

image

Jun 5, 201173,782 notes
The awkward moment when you're watching a cartoon and you understand the dirty joke that you never understood as a kid

godsgirl8494:

image

Jun 4, 2011127,721 notes
Next page →
2012 2013
  • January
  • February
  • March
  • April
  • May
  • June
  • July
  • August
  • September
  • October
  • November
  • December
2011 2012 2013
  • January
  • February
  • March
  • April
  • May
  • June
  • July
  • August
  • September
  • October
  • November
  • December
2010 2011 2012
  • January
  • February
  • March
  • April
  • May
  • June
  • July
  • August
  • September
  • October
  • November
  • December
2010 2011
  • January
  • February
  • March
  • April
  • May
  • June
  • July
  • August
  • September
  • October
  • November
  • December